I am the "Mom" of a blended family. There is me, my Dh, my two kids from a previous marriage, his two kids from a previous marriage, his step son from another one of his previous marriages and then we have our 5 yr old daughter. Several years ago when I accepted this role I had heard it had it's difficulties, but they were far outweighed by the advantages. Well I'm here to tell you that is complete and udder bullshit. IF I had known then what I know now, I'd have ran like hell when he asked me out the first time and told him to go to hell. I can say this much, it's been a learning experience and I will NEVER EVER do this again. I'm not saying that me and my Dh are going to split, but he's 17 yrs older than me, I see me living far longer than he does.
As I mentioned, I have two stepdaughters. My Dh thinks they walk on water or some shit. They can do no wrong in his eyes. If you tell him they do, he'll make a half assed attempt to uncover the truth, and if it's in their favor, that's where it stops. If it's not though, he'll keep digging till he can find someone to blow smoke up his ass so he can think they did no wrong. Well I recant part of that, he won't with the oldest one anymore, he can't. She's out of the house and well she's pulled so much shit that he pretty much believes it when someone tells him some dumbass thing she's done. Now the other one, well that's what the above applies to. He used to do it with the oldest one till I blew the cover off that and made him look like a total ass which he really didn't appreciate, but oh well, I needed the gratification of being right after being told I was picking on her, being too hard on her, and basically being called a downright liar.
I thought I had opened his eyes but I suppose not. Quite frankly it's starting all over but with the youngest step daughter. She turned 16 last November and after she got her driver's license it all went downhill again. Up to that point, it was looking like he had his head on straight and was doing a pretty good job of being partial to the fact that she can (and most definitely) is a little shit. I was quite proud of him and let him know that quite frequently. I had to basically give up MY car so she could have a vehicle to drive. Then came her putting a shitwad of gas through it and him paying for it, which was fine....till he had to start getting money from me to cover other shit. As I have mentioned, I have 3 jobs, I work anywhere from 52-70 hours a week. He has ONE job, 40 hours a week. Stepdaughter BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA her work.....ya right I see that happening anytime soon but that's a blog for another date and time (which will be soon I promise). Back to the car thing though, I have my truck, so wasn't that big of an issue (ok it was but I regress on that for the time being, and it was all me being selfish and yes I'm very selfish when it comes to certain things but I regress). Well then there came him buying another car for her to drive. *See Dh and the great car debate entry for that story. Well his excuse for that was that this car was cheaper on gas. Hmmmm I don't think so but whatever, I am no longer giving him any $$$ for anything I don't specifically request him to pick up.
Well since she got her license in November I've had several people stop me when I'm out and about and tell me that she's driving like an idiot (in some cases they thought it was me since it was my car). I tell Dh and he blows me off pretty much, or if he actually does say anything to her it's "Knock that shit off". Well tonight it's really got me riled up. I got a call from the highway patrol of a case of road rage. They came into the city limits, and so they called for our officers to watch for them. Guess who's license plate number they gave me? BINGO, my stepdaughters. Well called Dh into the office (ya we work in the same office) and told him. He promptly called step daughter and she told him she hadn't been out that way, she had been with a friend since after school blah blah blah. SON OF A BITCH....what does he do? "Oh ok, just checking" He did call her friend she was with but of course, she holds up for step daughters story. That's what teenage girls do when a parent calls...."Oh ya she was with me...Nooooo she wasn't on the highway south of town...nuh uh, she was with me" I used to be one, I know, I did it many times myself for friends. Then what do I hear? and this is the part where I get so mad I could pinch both their heads off......literally. "Oh you know her one friend is mad at her, she probably called it in to the highway patrol trying to get her into trouble" WTF ever dude, she's playing you and your believing her. Friday she came home giggling about doing the same kind of shit on her way home from going to the next town over to drop my kids off at their Dad's and so step son could pick me up some stuff from town since I wasn't feeling the best. Saturday night she pulled another stunt...told us she went to the truck stop after the game. What she failed to mention is she went to the next town over too. How did I find this out? Well I happened to see a lady that I used to work with and she started going on about how time flies, she didn't realize that she was driving blah blah blah. Then I dumbly asked, "Oh when did you see her Lisa?" "Saturday night when me and my son ran to get ice cream at Country Mart there in town...I thought she looked familiar sitting at the stoplight next to me and said something about her looking familiar and he told me that was your step daughter...I didn't realize she was that old yet, guess I was thinking of your other daughter" Well I dumbly told her that No it couldn't have been her, as she was cheering that night then went to the truck stop, then home. Lisa looked at me and told me she was pretty sure that her son was right, but whatever, it may not have been. Well then I got the brainstorm, check her IM logs. Guess what I found...yup that she had cheered at the game, went to the truck stop and went to the next town. A minor indiscretion, I was miffed but more because I had made an ass of myself to Lisa, and basically called her a liar. I have to remember to apologize to her next time I see her btw. I haven't mentioned that to Dh yet, and I'm not going to for a day or so either since I'm so mad about this. I did mention that she did the same thing Friday though, to which I was met with a dumb stare. Then him checking his phone for what time she called him which was like a minute before I got the call from the highway patrol. I just looked at him and had there not been 4 other people in the office said "What the fuck ever you wanna believe, but I think it was her" but I think he knows that I still don't believe her and I'm miffed at him. Why? Because he is now avoiding me like I'm a leper or something. That's what he does when he knows I'm gonna say something he doesn't like or doesn't want to believe.
I know kids are going to be doing stupid shit. I know kids are going to lie to their parents about stupid shit they do. I expect that. I know my kids do it. I am also on their asses about whatever they are doing wrong. I also expect that as adults, we need to investigate fully and if in doubt, ground that kid, cos they are probably guilty of that or something else we've not caught them at in the past and still deserve it one way or another. I've never heard of a week with no tv, phone or Internet killing anyone either ;). I also expect that a parent isn't going to stick their head in the sand and deny that their kid does any wrong.
So I forsee...several things in my very VERY near future. I see the top of my head blowing off soon for one. I also forsee anti-anxiety, antidepressants, and whatever else the dr prescribes for me also in my future. If I were to talk too much to anyone right now, I'd see a possible 96 hour mental health commitment in the future as well. Shoot them reading this blog would probably give them probable cause to do it (not that I'd resist any). I see me possibly well most likely checking up on stepdaughter and her driving habits. Ya I'm a conniving bitch sometimes, but if she's not doing anything wrong, she has nothing to hide now does she? I see several fights with my Dh in the near future if/when/after I catch her in the act. I see me learning from his mistakes he's making. I see me becoming even stricter with my kids.