Monday, December 22, 2008

Disengagement...can be very educational and entertaining

Yes my Daniel has been hit with the retard stick again. That's being generous in the very least. Couple of weeks ago it was his daughter giving him the proverbial finger when told to start packing to move into her new room, and now she's done it again...not once but TWICE! This week it's because she wanted to go spend the weekend with some boy or his family in a major city 5 hrs away from home, in a rather shitty suburb. Now the girl just turned 17 less than a month ago and to say she's immature and lacks common sense is a gross understatement. I had been told she had *asked* to go and then was told that he wasn't going to let her. Four days later he told me he had went ahead and let her go...and yes he was met with a WTF where YOU smoking and/or drinking at the time, and asked if he'd sustained a head injury I needed to be aware of...and the obligatory head shake in disappointment at his piss poor judgement as well as me voicing my opinion on the matter. Then I shrugged my shoulders and reminded him I had disengaged, I'd keep my mouth shut, it was between him and the Sponge. I was met with a blank stare then a weak explanation of how he'd initially told her she couldn't go, and then something about her being 17 and there was no way he could really stop her, and her and her friend were going to go anyways, he'd rather have her in her car where he knew they wouldn't break down, followed with mutter, mutter, mutter. Where he comes up with his line of thinking, I have no clue. I told him the only reason I cared is because while it reflected poorly on him, it also reflected poorly on me and we have a court hearing over custody coming up sometime. I also reminded him of the shitty decisions that the Sponge had made with their oldest daughter and how she had turned out and he was acting just like the Sponge now in an attempt to keep Katie at our house. Oh and that this WOULD be brought up in a court of law and he'd have some SERIOUS explaining to do. He got kind of a funny look on his face, but didn't say a word. I was tempted to tell him I wasn't going to go to the court hearings with him, but I didn't. The reason for that is that I know me, and I'm way to nosey not to go.

Oh he also said something about her wanting the perks of being an adult, she can have the responsibility for it as well. That was too much for me to resist...and he was stuck in the pickup with me so I informed him I'm handing her the electric bill for next door AND her car insurance bill in January... *Wicked grin* and I'm NOT paying them. Ya I'm a bitch that way. I really don't care either way what they say about it either. What they gonna do? Give me dirty looks? Throw me out? GROUND ME? BWAHAHAHAHAHA

Well nothing further was said until today when he asked me to look up the weather and street/road conditions for that particular suburb today. I IM'd a good friend of mine that lives in that area and was informed that the roads were clear and while cold, weather was fine. While I was pulling up the info and texting my friend, he told me Katie was telling him that the streets were bad and she couldn't come home today blah blah blah. Well he dickered with her back and forth via texts for a good 2 hrs and I was getting pissed so I just called the local PD for that suburb. What do you know? Streets and weather were he texted her back telling her to have their happy asses home by 5 tonight or she's loosing her car for a month. Of course, she wasn't home by 5 (I'm not surprised considering his lack of spine and her ignorance). I don't know whether she's home now at 19:30 either since I had to come in to work because 2 of our dispatchers have the flu and maybe another one. That leaves me and one part time guy and he's scheduled to work tomorrow for the guy that's going to relieve me at midnight provided he's not sick as a dog by then (he was sick today I guess, heaving everything he'd eaten). Oh well, more OT for me :D. Tis the season.

Anyways, at this point, I'm kicking back enjoying my Daniel squirm like he's in a sniper's sight and he knows it. I have absolutely NO sympathy for him at this point, as he's let her spiral out of control and brought this on himself. The Sponge tried calling him today and wanted to talk to him and he turned his cell off. He had 3 unread text messages and he said he wasn't going to read them. Maybe he's taking clue from me about how I deal with his daughter...I ignore her. Oh I'll speak to her, and if there is something she needs to do, I'll tell her to do it, and if she doesn't, I deal with that. Other than that, nada. I reserve that right being a lowly disengaged stepparent though...he doesn't have that option since he's the "parent". She doesn't give me the shit she gives her Dad for the mere fact that she doesn't ask me anything. If she did, the answer would be no, and she knows that from experience.

I can't help but wonder if he doesn't WANT to loose this custody case. He's told me numerous times that he's too old for this bullshit and he doesn't want to deal with it. Of course this was a couple of years ago and he repeats it intermittently to the present time. I know I'm to the point where I want him to loose this case. I'm tired of watching him let her use him as a doormat. On the other hand, hopefully he's learning from it although it will be 10 years before he needs this knowledge again...well maybe it will. In a mere 10 years OUR Evie will be 15 and I'll rot in hell before I let him raise OUR daughter this way. I do believe he knows that and is relieved. I have no problem being Billy Bad Ass with the teenagers, where he just wants to throw money (and car keys apparently) and for them to get out of his hair. Screw that noise, I was raised like that and I know how it feels. I guess he's imagining that she likes it, and truth be known...she doesn't. She wants attention from her Dad and probably from me, but I can't give her mine with her acting this way. I would be the wicked stepmother from Cinderella at this point as disgusted with her as I am right now. Personally I think she needs that at this point in time, but I'm not taking the fall for being the "bad guy" with one of his kids yet again. I've tried telling him this, but he's not comprehending it as when he tries to reign her in and spend time with her, she retreats into a whining bitching "your so mean to me" fit. Oh well, least this is his last child he spawned with the Sponge and like I said, she's 17. Eleven short months and she'll be 18, and the following May she will graduate high school. YAY. I'm not going to say she'll be out of my life, but she will be no longer deemed in any way partially my responsibility. That just tickles the shit out of me.

Like I said, this is very educational for me. A first rate education/example of what NOT to do with my kids (even though I might be tempted at times). Now all I need is an example of what to do with/to him if he should get bold enough to attempt to allow my children to act this way.

Friday, December 19, 2008

Mad? Sad? ...but definately NOT glad

Am I mad? Am I sad? Right now I don't know and this just reminds me WHY I don't pay attention to the news half the time.

One of the first things on the NBC nightly news tonight was about the "Big 3" and their financial woes and the government's reactions. Ok while I agree that letting them go belly up would cause MAJOR repercussions throughout our fine country, I'm not a big fan of the government bailing their irresponsible asses out of dutch either. If you or I were to be THAT financially irresponsible at our jobs, we'd be out the door so fast that we wouldn't know which way was up or down. Asking the government to bail us out .....BWAHAHAHAHAHA. We might get a handful of food stamps, some medical help to cover our children (which I think we all deserve BTW), and MAYBE some cash assistance (I think it's called TANF, but don't qoute me on that. As for cold hard cash? Nope. A "loan" to tide us over? A snowball would have a better chance in hell. I don't know WHAT the answer to this particular problem is, but personally...I think a whole lot of downsizing, some major pay cuts for the executives (and the ones that were making the lousy decisions...hit the door buddy!), and restructuring of their orgainizations. That's just my humble opinion though, what do I know? I may not have a Ph.D, but I have a solid understanding of business and a whole lot of common sense. Oh and not to mention, first hand experience in operating a "business" (aka a home and small farm)on a frayed shoestring budget and not bellyflopping financially. Something those jokers (aka executives apparently don't possess en masse).

OH WTH?!?! On our local news, I just heard that they are "loaning" them 17 BILLION dollars...on the condition that they show that they can show that they can turn their financial condition around by March 31. If they can't? They have to pay their "loan" back. Ok WHERE IS THE LOGIC in that?!? If they prove that they can start making money and stay in the black they don't have to pay that "loan" back? Great....nice to see where my HARD EARNED tax dollars are going. Oh and for anyone that's thinking "Well go back to school to get a cushy job with great pay and quit yer bitchin."...shut up. I like being a blue collar middle class worker. While I DO have a menial office job, it's interesting sometimes and it makes a difference in our lil corner of the world. (Yes, you know who you are just as well as I for the rest of my readers that are in the same boat as I am, hats off to you for all that you do.)

Back on track, later in the NBC newscast they were talking about the Operation Santa program that the US Postal service has ran for the last 90 some odd years. I guess today it was brought to a screeching halt by some scrotebag sex offender that volunteered to answer a Santa letter. Luckily they got to him before he got his response mailed and are making changes to the program to try to prevent this from happening again. Gah some people just don't deserve the oxygen they breathe and the space they occupy in the universe. I know that's not very nice but ummm sorry, that's why I work in law enforcement. Be thankful I'm not a judge, and if you EVER commit a crime in my county...pray I'm not on your jury because I sincerly believe in public hangings, the death sentence, and in certain cases, I'm not above believing in torture. After telling of that, they switched gears with the story. They interviewed a postal worker that volunteers to read and answer Santa letters. While every year they get some kids (and parents) asking for help with warm clothing, jobs, food for Christmas dinner, basic kind of stuff SO many of us take for granted, this year it has been especially bad. Heartbreaking from some of the excerpts they read on the air. I'm not a cryer, but I was sitting here, signing into Blogger, drinking my coffee, eating my triple decker peanut butter sandwich, crying and thinking about the bailout story that had ruffled my feathers minutes earlier. They go from $17 BILLION dollars in loans to THREE companies, to heartbreaking stories of children asking for jobs for their parents, warm clothing, heat for their homes, food for Christmas dinner, a little bit of security/peace for their troubled it just me or is there something SERIOUSLY WRONG here?!?

I will admit the welfare program raises mixed emotions in me, but if our government can grant $17 BILLION in loans to 3 companies, why do we have CHILDREN asking for basics? Now I know there are parents that are irresponsible, and will go and blow whatever money they have on crap when their kids need things like coats, heat, school supplies, whatever, but still... It's just crazy. It pisses me off. It makes me extremely sad. I almost want to emmigrate to another country.

We all need to contact our government officials and let them know how we feel about this. My poor state representative...he's always getting a piece of my mind and good heavens, the man must have a portfolio of letters from me. I've written a few to my other "elected" officials, but Don gets the bulk of it as I see him at least 3-4 times a week. On the other hand, that's why I voted for him & part what I'm paying him listen to my gripes and try to change things. I have to admit, he and I don't always see eye to eye, but he listens to what I have to say and gives it a fair shake. I do the same with him. We have a mutual respect for one another, and my family is friends with his family. I really wish he'd run for Congress, but he doesn't want to at this point. He prefers to be closer to his family, friends and constituents, where he can see the changes happen locally. Can't blame him a bit, and I respect him all the more for it.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Somethings don't come soon enough II

Persnickety & Feisty...

At 17 I had a baby, husband, job, school and a home to take care of myself so ya I think it's safe to say all 3 of us can say it's "doable". Of course she tells her Daddy some bullshit about since she is a cheerleader she can't get a job, they won't work around her school activities...WTFH ever that is a HUGE load of shit. How do I know that? Hmpfh I wasn't a cheerleader by any means but I worked at least one job all the time, since the time I was 10. Sometimes it was mowing lawns, walking dogs (and I still HATE certain yippy fluffy breeds to this day because of that), working with guys cutting firewood, fixing fence, milking cows, working cows, general other farm work, and a plethora of other odd jobs...all on top of being an active member in FBLA, Art Club, swim team, Drama Club (betcha that's a surprise to ya'll huh), and various church activities...oh and going to the nursing home a few times a month to just go hang out with someone that didn't have any family to visit them. Anyways, that's not my point here, my point is that she's full of shit and Daniel refuses to call her bluff.

I so agree with both of you, they both need a major ass beating at the very least. It's not my place to administer it unless she does something to cross me though, then her happy lil bouncy smartass punk cheerleading ass is MINE. Funny thing is though...I tell her no, she doesn't give me the shit she gives her Dad LOL. Probably because she has tried it and it netted her a month of no going anywhere but to work (ya she worked a grand total of 6 weeks this summer), no phone, no computer, nada nothing. It started out at 2 weeks and then she went bitching and crying to Daniel....BAD mistake. Her punishment got doubled and as for him....well have you heard the term "blue balls" or "cold shoulder"? He got a very HEALTHY dose of both. I'm just talented that way ...thanks for teaching me the very handy skill of making people miserable Mom.

Anyways back on track here....

Last night was her flat denial of moving into her new room...and him letting her punk ass get by with it. Today...more of it but with a very interesting twist...get this ya'll...The reason he's having SOOOO many troubles with her over this is all MY FAULT. Oh yes, you read that right, MY FAULT. WTFH is probably what your thinking and I did too naturally. The response Daniel gave me was since when it came to figuring out who was going to stay over there while HE finished that room. Ohh yes, he was supposed to have had that done ohhhhh middle of Septemberish, and just like my Dad, blew it off till I pitched a bitch fit and started doing it myself ... opps side rant there, back on track now. Daniel wanted me to let Ty, my 14 yr old boy stay over there ALONE. Now Ty is a good kid, but he is a sneaky lil shit. I wouldn't put it past him to sneak out and meet some of his friends that can drive at the end of our driveway and we'd never know he was gone kinda sneaky. Or him sneak girls in or whatever. So ummmm NO I said to that. Yes it was my idea to put her over there, but she had this HUGE issue about being alone and for Christ's sake, she was almost 17 at the time. In less than 2 years she'll be out of my errr on her own is what I meant. She needs to learn how to handle being alone at night. Well at first she pissed and moaned....oh wait, you read this before, I'll spare you the repeat. Now where was I? Oh ya, MY FAULT, and his logic behind that. In a nutshell if I'd listened to him and had Ty stay over there, then he wouldn't be having this issue with her. WTF? Oh so I'm supposed to have my 14 yr old son stay alone in a house and God only knows what he'd come up with and do that he's not supposed to so his fucking whiny assed almost 17 yr old daughter could stay in the main house (and that's what she wanted at that point in time) and it would make the transition easier on Daniel putting Ty in the spare room? I can see his logic as he's LAZY when it comes to being a parent in oh so many ways, but I'll be go to hell if I'm letting either one of my kids stay in a house 100 yds from me for that long. Nope, not this Momma. I know how sneaky kids can be (ok and part of it is I was a BAD kid in oh so many ways so I know what I'd been doing had my parents let me have a pad of my own).

We've been through this before with her older sister and guess what? His problems with her were MY FAULT as well. Yes there is a pattern of this and yes I'm sick and G'damned tired of it. So I am going to what's called "disengaging" in the world of step parenting. The girl HAS parents...unfortunately for her she was dealt a couple of not the best, but not my fault. I'm in no way, shape, or form saying I'll EVER win mother of the year, but I'm not a totally looser parent either. So since she has parents, I'm leaving the parenting to them. Unless of course she does something that directly impacts me or my children and God help her if she does, because then she's under MY jurisdiction. I will be in charge of that, then if it happens. Until then, she's her Mom and Dad's problem. I won't be doing anything for her unless she asks and I agree or she earns it. If they don't like that oh well...what are they going to do? Sue me? Leave me? Pfft...not too concerned about it. I'll deal with the repercussions if/when it gets to that point. In the meantime, I'm going to raise MY children to the best of my ability and say screw the rest of it. I don't need the grief, anxiety, or headaches associated with it.

Oh and as for that cold shoulder...ya Daniel's on the receiving end of it yet again, and until I either see changes or get left out of his Katie drama bullshit I don't see it changing anytime soon.

Oh and Daddy...Thank you SOOOO much for raising me right, but I wouldn't be expecting any kudos on my raising from Daniel anytime soon ;)

Man I LOVE this song!

So very true...except that my Dad wouldn't buy me a damn horse cos they were a "waste of feed and good for nothing but tearing the shit out of a perfectly good pasture"... That's really hilarious considering Daniel says the same thing about them. Maybe they are onto something when those shrinks say some women seek out men somewhat like their fathers. ;)

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Somethings just don't come soon enough

I'm PMSing which contributes to part of this post, but don't expect me to apologize for anything I say here. Only reason I bequeathed you with that information is that the first couple of paragraphs, that's the only reason that stuff is bugging me. The last part of it though...well it's been festering for awhile and my dipshit other half will NOT grow a f'kn spine and stand up to his punk ass 17 yr old daughter.

Ok first of all, I've been working WAY to many hours lately in order to halfway keep this family afloat financially. Now I don't mind that, I know that in a month or so things will straighten out, they always do. I'm just getting worn out, and when I AM home, the three youngest kids (all mine) want to be attached to my hip. While flattering, it's annoying...on top of that, Daniel wants to be attached to the other hip. Now I'm 5'3" and my weight bounces between 130-140 at any given time. His 189lbs on one hip and the other kids combined weight of probably 275 lbs gets overwhelming to say the least. All of them wanting my attention at any given time gets mentally exhausting. I am more mentally fatiqued than anything else. I need some downtime which I CAN NOT get around these parts these days. That's most of why they are grating on my nerves so bad. Me having down time equates to a more mentally refreshed Mom and wife so I actually want to hang out with all of them some (and all that extra weight doesn't wear me out so badly).

Second of all, the 13 yr old has PMS as well. Man oh man, you talk about B.I.T.C.H.Y. she makes me look like a saint in that reqard. I have spent the majority of today trying to keep her in check as she was snapping at everyone like a rabid alligator. Personally I wanted to chunk her into her closet and give her a lamp, a coffee can, box of kleenex, her Diet Coke, bottle of Midol, pillow, blanket, and her DS but thought better of it.

Today we finished 17 yr old brat stepdaughter's room in the mobile adjoining ours. It's nothing fancy, but it's more than livable and she is LIVID. We let her stay next door in the smaller mobile and at first she bawled and squalled about it. Now she's grown used to it and likes having her own place...on our f'kn dime. Money is tight right now but apparently this kid thinks we have a money tree that we can go raid as we need to. Doesn't matter whether we did or not, she has NO right to expect us to furnish her with a house of her own even if we do have one handy. She wants her own place, she get get a f'n job like the rest of us, and pay her own bills just like the rest of us. Daniel thinks I'm being too hardcore and just plain "mean" about it. All I hear out of him is "Well what would you have liked at 17?" I very ungently reminded him at 17 I DID have my own house, and I paid my own bills THANK YOU VERY MUCH. I didn't expect or want help from my parents. Anyways, that's another blog post all together. I don't give a flying rat's ass what either of them think anymore. He needs thumped upside the the head and that girl needs a serious good old fashioned ass whipping. Can I get her dear Daddy to administer one to her? F'k NO. If she doesn't get what she thinks she "needs" when she thinks she "needs" it, she sends him all kinds of hateful and disrepectful text messages, shovels out all kinds of attitude, and keeps it up until she either gets tired of it or there's something else that makes her happy or she thinks she HAS to have RIGHT now. Case in point....Last Monday they were to have their sports pictures taken, and he was flat assed broke. She wanted $20 for her pictures and when he said he didn't have it, he got smart assed whiney texts for the next 4 days like "Oh well I guess I'm not supposed to have memories so I just won't get them *sigh*" and assorted other bullshit (that's the first one I read and I can't remember the rest cos they all pissed me off so bad). His response "Well you can't blame her for being disappointed" WTFH kind of answer is that?!? He might have a point but to let her get by with texting him that way.....well all I'll say is she's lucky she's not MY kid because she'd be black, blue, purple, and yellow across her backside, she'd not have a car nor a phone either.

I really HATE being a stepmother. I REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY hate it. I have to stand my and watch this kind of shit go on, and him let his kid get by with it. On top of that, MY kids see it and listen to it, so guess what? They think THEY can get by with it. Well they try, they don't get very far. Guess my threats of beating their asses get their attention, especially when a mouthy then 14 yr old got his beat in front of his younger sisters. It made an impression. They still push, but they don't push too hard. Now if I could just let Daniel let me have a crack at that brat of his... That's never going to happen though so I'd just better stick with hoping that the next year and a half goes by very swiftly. I'll never be so glad to have a kid out of my house in all my life (well except for her sister, and this situation is quickly morphing into what that one careened into).

Ok rant over, back to your regularly scheduled programming and thank you so much for allowing me to get this off my a roundabout way that is. :)