Friday, November 7, 2008


Sometimes people just amaze me. Their line of thinking (and trust me it's a line with some) is so unwavering that when confronted with the idea that throws a kink in it, digesting it is difficult without help. Luckily, I'm not one of them, and can help them out with a visual to make it easier on them.

This morning Daniel wanted to come in town to the coffee shop. He still can't drive and with me sleeping for work and the kids gone to school...well he is going bonkers. He needed some human interaction.

After dropping the kids off to school, we buzzed on down to the cafe'. As normal, the whole usual cast of characters were there at the Liar's Tables, solving the problems of the world. I was happily chatting with a couple of women I know when I got hollered at from across the room....

"HEY Chris! C'mere will ya"

I suspiciously looked over at them and asked "Why?"

"Need to ask you something darlin" (It's ok, known this guy since I was a kid...shoot I went to school with his kids and almost lived at their house for a while LOL)

I looked at Daniel and he smiled and shrugged at me. Oh boy, what could they want? The last few days have been filled with election banter and the like which I had skillfully avoided.

"Chris, are you a farmer or a rancher?"

I looked blankly at the table and went "Huh? Why?"

"Cos we want to know what YOU think you are"

I laughed as I told them, "Well I know what I am, and all of you should too...ya'll have known me just about my entire lifetime"

"Well that's the problem, some of us say your a farmer, some of us say a rancher."

After that they all started telling me WHY they thought I was a farmer or a rancher. Hearing their thoughts on me was quite interesting to say the least. I gotta hand it to the guys though, not a one of them said anything hateful. Ya they love me (or they just waited till I left, but I doubt it with this part of the crew).

I just happened to know that today was delivery day at the cafe, so as the owner swung around with the coffee pot, I asked her if she had the boxes still in the back. She told me they did and I asked her if I could go back and get some and bring them out front for a few minutes. She looked at me quizzically and then told me go for it, I knew where they'd be. I went back to the kitchen and sure enough, there were the boxes. I drug out about 4 boxes of varying sizes and went back out front with them.

"WTH are those for Chris?"

"Shaddup and watch and listen and answer when I ask you a question ok?"

They all looked at Daniel who shrugged and told them he had NO clue what I was doing, I was nuts (thanks hun, I appreciate the support there buddy-o).

I took the smallest box and stepped inside. It was an egg box that just came past my ankles.

"Ok guys, other than being *Chris in a box* any idea what I am?"

I was met with confused and blank stares...

"Ok this is me and my mechanical abilities...I have the basic ideas down, can fix a few things but not my strongest suit. The fact that I DO have basic knowledge of mechanics though, in some ways, doesn't that make me a mechanic?"

One of the guys bit and went "Ya s'pose it does hun."

"Ok but obviously that's not all I am cos that box doesn't even begin to encompass me." With that I wrote mechanic on the side of the box and stepped out of it. I then grabbed a napkin box which is a slight bit bigger and put the egg box inside. Then I stepped inside of both boxes. Now luckily some good friends of mine came in, and they just happen to know I've been around animals enough to have a good base in vetting animals great and small.

"Ok guys, what am I now, other than the obvious?"

My friend said "Self taught animal doctor"

Wasn't quite the answer I was looking for, but since he'd taught me alot about that, I rolled with it.

"Yup that'll work. As all of you know, as long as it doesn't require major surgery, I can handle everything from splinting of a leg to colic, to stitches on an injured animal. While I know quite a little bit about it, I'm still not an expert or I'd put Doc outta business."

With that I put "Wanna be vet" on the outside of the box.

I then grabbed my next box, and repeated the process. That box came up to roughly my hips and when I asked the fellas what that meant, they said "Police dispatcher"

Yup that worked as I explained to them while I don't know everything about it, I'm pretty damn knowledgeable about it and good at it. They agreeed and we moved on...

I took my last box which came up to mid biceps on me and got inside of that after I put the other boxes inside.

The guys spent about two cups of coffee discussing what THIS box was then they piped up:






"computer whiz"

There was a couple others but they started argueing and I didn't catch all of them. I told them all

"Your all right, I'm all of those things to one degree or the other. You guys are all older than me, wiser than me, and have more experience in lots more things than me. I'm learning all the time about these things though, and then some."

"So are you a farmer or rancher Chris?"

"Well right now I'm really neither, but I'm both"

They all looked at me and with some the lightbulb came on and some...well lets just not go there k?

I explained to them I had been both in the past. I loved each and every minute of it as well. Then I told them that we just don't have the room and such for a herd of animals yet so ranching would have to wait a couple of years. Our place isn't well suited for farming either so I don't see that in my near future either. Ya I've farmed, but it's a been awhile back.

that's when it dawned on them. I was both and a whole lot more. As I took the boxes to the back, a discussion ensued about me. I had to run to the bank and Daniel stayed at the cafe. when I picked him up, he put his arm around me and looked at all of them and just said "See ya fellas, she's mine" and out the door we went.

Later on after I got up, I got a phone call from a friend of mine thanking me. I didn't have all my mental facutlites about me yet as I'd only been up about 10 mins so I asked her why.

Her reply was "For teaching those guys at the cafe not to put us in boxes" and told me how her husband had came home talking about that I'd done.

I told her no problem and couldn't help but smile. These guys know people just aren't ONE thing, but then turn around and asked me to put myself in a "box". Maybe one of these day's they'll learn...Don't ask Chris to put herself into a box, she's clausterphobic.


Feisty Irish Wench said...

wow...all I can say is Kick-A blog post Chris.

Anonymous said...

Great story Chris :) Thank you for sharing!