Sunday, November 23, 2008


It must seem to lots of random readers that make it here, that I bitch and whine alot. If it does to you, well in all honesty, it seems that way to me too. I don't like it either. Ok now I hear you asking yourselves "Then if you don't like it, WHY do you do it?" Well that isn't such an easy question to answer. I guess I could simplify it, but what good would that do? I'm a subscriber to the theory of to quit doing something, you must find the root cause of WHY it's being done. Only when you can find the root, dig it out, and deal with it, can you effectively battle the beast. Many of the things I piss and moan about there are simple answers for in theory, but to make those work, other's must cooperate, which in some cases is about as easy as herding chickens (ok in reality, I've herded chickens, and it's much easier).

I'm not going to apoligize for the amount of crabbing I do on here, but I will say this about it...I have to purge it from my system in a healthier form than what initally comes to mind in most cases. You don't EVEN want to begin to know my inital solutions to some problems. (Hint: Refer to my previous post and find the paragraph about my truck and vehicular manslaughter)

I have been dually bless/cursed with a strong sense of wrong and right. With that comes a vivid imagination and even stronger belief in karma, punishment and justice. Maybe that's why I work in law enforcement. I dunno.

Anyways, back on track, I get frustrated to no end when I see injustice and unfairness. Like I mentioned with Spongebob, her and her new hubs get to do all kinds of things. It's not that I care so much WHAT they do, it just aggravates me that we can't afford to do anything with our family because we're having to take up the slack financially because she won't help. My kid's Dad is just as bad as they can afford to buy movies and such, but he can't pay his child support. Shoot, it's been since August that I saw any kind of money out of him. I don't mean to lay all the blame on Spongebob, it's just that I've gotten used to my X being worthless in the money department. It irrates me that me and Daniel have to work so hard, just to give them the little bit that we can. For example, my X will buy movies hand over fist, and around my house, I rarely buy a movie unless I snag it used someplace, cheap. If I buy a new movie for any of us, it's either because it's a holiday of some sort, something we will all enjoy time and time again, or a major reward for a deed well done. I guess it's the difference in how me and him were raised. His parents were far poorer than my parents, and yet they could afford to buy those kinds of things. Maybe it's a difference in values, I don't know, I don't care. What I do know is that my older kids are less than impressed when I buy a movie and am excited to watch it. Usually they've already seen it at their Dad's, or just the fact that "Mom, it's a movie...Why are you so excited over a movie". *Sigh*

Just like for a long time, I was pretty strict on what I let my kids watch. Well I still am to some extent as I do have a 5 yr old in the house. Anyways, when the step daughters were 10 & 12, they wanted to watch the Madonna movie that was a tour biography (I can't think of the name of it atm). I told them no, there's some pretty racy stuff in there. I didn't think they needed to see that. When Daniel questioned me about not letting them watch it (he hadn't ever watched it), I started to explain and Tangie (the oldest one at a ripe old age of 12) informed him, "It's ok Dad, we've already seen it, Mom lets us watch it, we have it at home. We'll just find something else." I about went into a fit, and Daniel was standign there clueless. Well he understood later that week when I had him sit down and watch it with me while we were folding laundry. My kid's Dad is just as bad letting my kids watch that kind of thing as well. I blocked Comedy Central, MTV, MTV 2, and those kinds of things when I had satellite, and you'd have thought I was amputating limbs or something. Then guess what? Yup, I heard "Eh don't worry about it, we'll watch it at Mom/Dad's when we're there".

So ya, I get frustrated...alot. The X's aren't the only frustrations I have, they are just the most aggravating and the hardest to get things changed with. Sometimes it seems they do things just to piss us off (ok we know they do, but that's ok, Karma will deal with them eventually and the kids will see through it eventually).

Like I said, I need someplace relatively healthy to get this out of my system, and so far my blog is the safest place I've found.

Also this year has been filled with heartbreak, and challenges for my family. Maybe (hopefully) 2009 will be better, and I will blog about more interesting things than just my aggravations. I'll work on that, promise.

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