No I'm not referring to the holidays either. Right now the holidays are the furthest thing from my guy's minds around the homestead. In precisely 7 days, 2 hrs and 43 minutes, I will be submerged headfirst into firearms deer hunting season. YAY!!!!!! NOT!!!!
Don't get me wrong, I'm really looking forward to having venison in the freezer and some deer hides to practice my tanning skills on. Yes, I have some eclectic hobbies...we all have our quirks, just me more than others. What I don't look forward too? Oh where on that list shall I begin?
1. Getting awoken at the before the ass crack of dawn to make sure they get out of the house (and my hair) without waking the girls up.
2. Getting awoken to get informed that I have to go with because Ty sounds like an elephant going to the stand and can't hit the broad side of a bulls ass and that's why they didn't see/get a deer yesterday...therefore I get recruited to go since Daniel can't fire a weapon yet w/o possibly messing up his bone graft in his neck.
3. Sitting in a cold ass windy stand freezing my blessed assurance off before sunrise with no coffee pot to come to my rescue.
4. Listening to Ty BEG me to stay home from school to hunt.
5. Listening to his sisters gripe cos he got to stay home and hunt.
6. Listening to Daniel that I let Ty stay home and hunt (or not letting him stay home and hunt...can't win on this one).
7. All the stories of how they got their deer, or why they didn't...It's amusing at best the first time around, but by the end of January...ya the stories stale, move on fellas. Really.
8. My family calling everyday "Anyone get a deer yet?"
9. "Friends" constantly asking if they can come over and hunt our place because they've heard we're in deer heaven
10. Having to process and pack all of my beloved venison all by myself because..."We just shoot it, and field dress it. You expect us to know what to do with it afterward other than EAT it? We're tired, going for a nap before the evening hunt...have fun Mom/Dear."
Oh ya and the good ole smell of deer scent and cover scents. Deer urine and dirt anyone? Ya buddy, that's what my kitchen and my bedroom yippee skippy, how romantic and appetizing is that?
I normally get myself in the dog house someplace about November 17thish (FYI deer season starts on November 15th) for getting all cranky over the whole deer season thing. Luckily we have an extra home the hunters can go hibernate in (or I can hide) this year, maybe keeping some peace around the main house. It's a nice thought anyways, but I don't see it happening. Actually I've already managed to get in the door of the doghouse by not having bought camo for Ty yet. So instead of my usual blog surfing, online games, and time killers I normally utilize while working, I'm surfing the net looking for camo pants for the boy. He's also put out with me that I won't spend $30 for camo pants. Yes the boy will wear them until they are so threadbare that his boxers are showing, but that's beside the point. It's CAMO! I H.A.T.E. camo. It's ugly, it's gooberish, and well to be quite frank, not necessary IMHO during deer season. Deer are color blind for crying out loud! The deer do not care one iota what your wearing. If they did, they'd fall over laughing at most deer hunters. On top of that, they will be sitting 15 feet in the air...deer aren't going to be looking up there unless you make some really odd noise. Like dropping your Dr Pepper bottle to the ground (opps my bad), sneezing, spilling the box of shells causing a metallic clattering noise (in which case they don't look up, they bolt like someone lit a fire under their ass...and no, that wasn't my bad for once). Anyways back on track, the boy expects camo. Which isn't THAT big of a deal, I'll buy it, just at MY price, which happens to be much less than what Mossy Oak, Remington, and most of the other major manufacturers seem to think it should be.
Ok I guess I'll quit droning on about deer season and it's peculiarities and head back to the web to find some camo at my price, so I can shut my son up and maybe spare myself a headache this up coming week.
I oh, I oh, it's back to Ebay hunting camo I go...